Last Thursday was swim day for our triathlon training. As I waited for my swim partner to arrive, I confidently slipped into an open lane at the pool, put my goggles and swim cap on, and began swimming.
It wasn't until this morning that I realized the miracle of this moment. Just three weeks before, my first swim clinic and pushed me into a full panic attack and meltdown. The fear that had gripped me for over 10 years reared it's ugly head as I struggled to push through. Over the last ten years, this fear has robbed me of countless opportunities. Many times my children begged me to play with them in the far end of the pool or join them in the deep ocean waves, but my fear kept me confined to the safety of the shallows. If you didn't know me intimately, you wouldn't have known that I was afraid. Afraid to put my head under water. Afraid to dive to the floor of the pool to get the toy that had sunk to the bottom. Afraid to ride the waves with my boys at the beach. Afraid and ashamed of my fears. I quoted scriptures, prayed, and begged for God to remove this fear from me but my deliverance didn't come instantly. I had to walk this one out. God has been with me every step of the way but it hasn't been easy. I've heard that fear can be defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. It's the absence of faith and is usually a lie. For me, it was a lie. My fear of water was irrational and without merit. It was a lie of the enemy that kept me confined so that I couldn't fulfill my God-given purpose. My heart aches for those of us who struggle with things that require us to push through, only making tiny little strides as we obediently walk out the freedom that God has promised us. It can be so daunting and so embarrassing, especially for a Christian. We want to look like we have it all together but we all struggle. And, when it comes down to it, God promises that we will have troubles in this life. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 I love that this scripture warns us of trouble but promises triumph. Some of us have struggles that are out in the open and some have hidden sins. But, God loves us the same and yearns for us to face our struggles and overcome with His grace and power. Your path to freedom may be quick and filled with supernatural miracles or God may require that you walk it out one step at a time. I pray today that you will embrace God's hand and fight for your freedom in any area that the enemy wants to steal from you. Rest assured, the area you struggle with today will one day be your testimony.
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About MarcyProud wife and momma of a clan of boys. Life is busy and chaotic, but not dull! I love my life. Archives |